WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
