Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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