shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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