well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Panties = found
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
