hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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