He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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