we have pet lesbian snakes
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
