Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sober January is a disaster.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
