is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
