next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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