I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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