cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
