would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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