used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
