Duck Duck Cougar?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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