I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
