yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
