Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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