I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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