If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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