so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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