I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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