wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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