Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
