AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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