No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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