i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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