i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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