Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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