I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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