thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
