just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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