I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
