But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
