Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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