is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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