Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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