Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
