i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
where am i from again
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oh god it's open bar.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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