I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
