I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize