I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize