i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
