Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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