he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
