I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize