I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
