Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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