I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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