Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
