I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
