Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
