If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
