Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
