office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My vagina just recognized that song.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
