Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
4 words: hood of his car
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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