so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
