is your mom at the bar?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
