she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
