he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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