u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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