3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
