I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Less talking, more tequila
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
