Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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